It Really is Just About the Maquillage,
I think
I loiter around my face
each stroke of a cosmetic pencil
redefining an eyebrow, an eyelash
a life
there is a morbid satisfaction
in this intimacy of self with self
to put on powders and mascara
a spell earmarked for internal dialogue
my own reflection as close as any lover
I don’t like my true face
but there is delight in this slow pace
the ownership of stolen time
the rote recipe
first the moisturizer
each brush with purpose even destination
a potential to reveal
anything at first not seen
Brewer’s or Grackle
Euphagus cyanocephalus or
Quiscalus niger?
I’m always home, but wistfulness follows
me as tail feathers on a bird—a Brewer’s blackbird
they cluster on the wooden broken fence
near our reeds— males with their curious yellow eyes
that seem to shift lost crevices inside of me,
their iridescent heads —that purple shimmer
on oil stain green takes me back
to a childhood of tropical rain, Fichus trees,
and a plaza filled with the chinchilín song
of his cousin—an ecological equivalent—
the Antillean Grackle
Could I beg for a similar fortune?
If my wish were granted, the child in me would run
unabashed after that long tailed chango
the perfect name for a silly bird that shows off
his large family—a gatherer full of mischief,
but the Grackle is not here in this colder climate
here the aloof Brewer’s, secretive but for singing
his own cacophonous song to his immediate brood
I can sense he doesn’t feel the loss of home
unlike me, his home is home —where the nest rests
its twiggy cup near brothers and sisters
a loose colony of familiar ancestry—my jealousy
at least for this summer, for this breeding season
Amelia Díaz Ettinger is a ‘Mexi-Rican,’ born in México but raised in Puerto Rico. As a BIPOC poet and writer, she has two full-length poetry books published: Learning to Love a Western Sky by Airlie Press, and a bilingual poetry book, Speaking at a Time /Hablando a la Vez by Redbat Press. Also, a poetry chapbook, Fossils in a Red Flag by Finishing Line Press, 2021. Her poetry and short stories have appeared in literary journals and anthologies.
