Dale Champlin

Sex in Suburbia

—after Eavan Boland “Ode to Suburbia”

Five o’clock and the man-of-the-house
‌  pulls into the drive, slumped
‌  behind the wheel—dinner in the oven
‌  or thawing on the kitchen counter.
You are housebound, a stay-at home mom,
a suburban Cinderella, aware of your boobs starting
‌  to sag, your thighs on the verge of wobbling,
‌  the strong pull of boredom.

You feel used up before your fortieth birthday,
‌  upscale, upsize, outmoded, open concept mood-lit.
‌  Nothing a conga drum, or ho-hum chum, a dose of pot—
‌  out in a parking lot wouldn’t sanctify or rectify.
Your clothes are tatty, your housecoat’s ratty,
‌  your six-year-old’s bratty.

Even your mother warned you to get a job, set up
‌  your own bank account. Take a page from her playbook—
brighten your outlook. Remember how she chain smoked,
pottered about in the garden, charged choice cuts of meat
‌  at the butchers, complained about her varicose veins
‌  neglected you kids. Brighten your day. Take a hike, ride a bike,

‌  toss your toddler in a basket, pull your six-year-old
behind you on his own set of wheels.
‌  Get a dog, or a sled. Don’t get out of bed.
You’re only human after all. Buy a vibrator, put money down
‌  on a Miata, tootle off to the beach—anywhere out of reach.
‌  Trade your silver slipper for flip-flops, your garden
‌  for a deck, find some deck chairs at Goodwill.

Shake a martini to swill. Greet you husband
‌  in your altogethers, demand he orders takeout.
While you’re waiting, why don’t you make out?
Disarm him and disrobe him, swell him, cast a spell
‌  on him, pinch yourself awake and aware, spin him
‌  like a spinnaker. Polish him like mirror, gaze
‌  into your own reflection, arouse him
‌  before the stroke of midnight.

Dale Champlin is an Oregon poet and artist. Many of her poems have appeared in The Opiate, Timberline, Willawaw, Cirque, Triggerfish, and elsewhere. Dale’s poetry collections are: The Barbie Diaries, Callie Comes of Age, Isadora, Andromina: A Stranger in America, and Medusa.